Decluttering, Donating, Downsizing, Purging!

When we made the decision to move and downsize, we had the monumental task of decluttering and dealing with the accumulation of stuff over 34 years of marriage.  And, since Jerry is still working full time plus loading and delivering hay and mowing fields when he isn’t at work, the majority of the sorting, deciding and getting rid of fell to me.

At the same time, I managed to fall in the kitchen on our hardwood floors on May 23rd and break my kneecap in two while carrying a large bag of garbage to the car to head to the landfill.

This slowed down our process. For the first three weeks after surgery the following day, I was pretty much confined to the couch except for arduous trips to the potty and back. But, at least I could put weight on it in the straight brace.  At the doctor’s appointment two weeks later, x-rays revealed that the pins had come out of the figure eight wire formation so I had to be in the straight brace an additional month.  I did begin to slowly and carefully make my way downstairs to my basement arts and crafts ‘studio’ which I had to sort through on my own.  Finally on July 11th, I was put in an adjustable brace that bends 10 degrees weekly to slowly begin allowing the knee to bend. I have to remind myself, “Down with the bad; up with the good.”

Anyway, I watched a lot of decluttering and downsizing videos on YouTube and gleaned the following most helpful tips and points:

• When moving from house to house, you have to touch everything you own and decide, keep, donate, sell or trash.
• When considering inherited items with sentimental value, decide, am I keeping this out of a sense of guilt, because I love it and will continue to enjoy displaying or using it or because I wish to pass the guilt of ownership on to my children?  Many young people are embracing minimalism, a more modern aesthetic and less ‘stuff’ and clutter. Accept “no” as an answer.
• If an inherited item doesn’t fit with your new decor or you and your children don’t want it,  offer it to a relative before donating or selling it. You’ve enjoyed it for years, it is time it’s re-homed.
• Don’t fall into the trap of keeping things like clothes, decorative items or even furniture because it may fit you if you lose weight or you paid a lot of money for it.  I have watched truck loads of items I spent money on and may have enjoyed or used at the time but which have languished in the basement, closets, cupboards and shelves collecting dust for years.
• If you have the time and want to put in the effort of either selling on Facebook Market, Craigslist, eBay, etc. which requires photographing, measuring describing, listing and then often meeting potential buyers, by all means, do so.  Or if you have time and effort to price items, advertise and have a yard sale, great.  In my current position with a healing knee, I can’t drive and it is more time effective to simply donate most items.
• When donating consider spreading the wealth where it may be needed most.  Old suitcases and bags, toys in good condition and women’s and children’s clothing might be needed by a local women’s and children’s shelter.  Old towels, blankets, animal crates, bird cages, etc. may be needed by an animal shelter.  We have given the bulk of our things to a local hospice thrift store.
• Resist the urge to go in the thrift store and buy things others are getting rid of! (My biggest problem!)

If the Kon Mari method works for you, do that. There are many methods, tips and plans you can follow. The main thing is to DO IT and be decisive and focused. I was so excited about moving to the beach, before I broke my kneecap, I was making frequent trips inside the Hospice Barn thrift store, TJ Maxx, Marshall Home Goods, Ross and others picking up decor that would go with my imagined coastal in addition to getting rid of things that wouldn't fit that vision.  I was collecting things to have to pack up and move. At least a broken kneecap curbed that habit.

Not knowing what home we will purchase, we don't know what pieces of furniture we'll need. There are some definite pieces, especially antiques and practical pieces we know we'll take but when the time comes to get rid of furniture, we may sell a few but there is a local church that takes in furniture for people who can't afford to go to the furniture store and buy. I also plan to get a few small things like bedside tables and accent chairs at thrift stores when we get down there to paint and upcycle.

Current house upgrades include new carpet upstairs and in our master bedroom and we have a man coming to paint the exterior.

 We were very pleased with the price, quality and service we received from Lowe's. The carpet is wonderful and plush, the price was reasonable and the crew of seven worked quickly, efficiently and were very courteous and friendly. They moved the large pieces of furniture, removed the old carpet and foam, replaced it the new and moved the large pieces back and were done in two days.

Jerry and I just celebrated 34 years of marriage and we've been in our two story farmhouse where we thought we would live 'for the rest of our lives' for twenty years.  We moved in when our two older children were nine and seven and our youngest was an infant.  We not only grew our own hay but our tractor and hay barn evolved into a wedding and events venue.

In fact, as we carried the last load of our earthly belongings up the long driveway to our custom built 'forever' home, he told me, "Now, if you ever divorce me, I'm not moving out of the house." I said, "If you divorce me, I'm not either so I guess we'll have a wall built down the middle." But, 20 years later, our children have grown up and gained independence and we are growing older. While we get our high quality horse hay from a grower in Northern Kentucky by the tractor trailer load these days, we can't see ourselves still stacking hay, delivering it out of town and stacking it off in customers' barns five years from now into our early 60's.

And as much as we have enjoyed getting to be a peripheral part of so many fun and touching weddings, that, too, is a lot of work placing wooden church pews in the barn yard, cleaning and preparing the barn for events and being on hand the entire time.

When Jerry first seriously suggested that we leave our farm with its hardwoods, pastures, creeks and hills, I was a bit depressed at the idea.  The 70 acre farm had been his dream and we had built it from the original 20 acres he bought from his grandfather's estate to what it is now bringing back together the land still listed on the Spartanburg County deeds as Brown Dairy back when dairy cows roamed it and there was an old barn on the hill that burned down years ago. But, as a coworker said to him, the Bible says there is a time and a season for everything. "You've loved and enjoyed your season on the farm. Now it's time for a new season."

So, we'll be trading pastures, creeks, hills and occasional snow for sand and waves.